“This, then, is how you should pray: ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.'”
This verse is the second petition in this prayer. It has been used at times to “make” people forgive others. Some would say that your sins will not be forgiven if you don’t forgive those who have sinned against you. That is not correct! Our sins are forgiven when we ask God to forgive us because He will forgive us when we are sincerely ask for forgiveness. Nothing we do can earn us our forgiveness from God. It is a gift from God and God only. The challenge comes in that withholding forgiveness from someone who has harmed you is not pleasing to God, since God has forgiven you and you are asking God to do something that you have decided you don’t want to or are not going to do yourself. It is a bit hypocritical.
So when Jesus told His disciples to ask for forgiveness as they have forgiven others, I believe He wasn’t telling them that they had to forgive everyone so they would be forgiven. I believe He was reminding them that they should forgive others because they have been forgiven. They have been given that gift and they should give that gift to others when it is needed. We need to follow that same advice as well. To know what it feels like to be forgiven is powerful and it should give us the power to choose to forgive others.
Also, forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for us. When you have been hurt by someone, sinned against, the feelings that come with that of pain and anger can weight you down. When you choose to forgive the person, that weight is lifted because you are not carrying that heavy feeling with you any longer. The decision to forgive is truly for our own mental and spiritual self, as the other person may or may not know that they have hurt you or sometimes may not even care that they hurt you.
By practicing forgiveness, we are choosing to imitate Christ. He forgave others who did not ask for forgiveness such as the soldiers who were casting lots for His clothes while He hung on the cross dying for their sins. Jesus forgave others who acknowledged their sin as well. It is our responsibility then to choose what we are going to do when someone hurts us, forgive or not.
I encourage everyone to examine your heart and see if there is anyone who you have not given forgiveness to whether they have has asked for it or not. Carrying that weight around is extra weight we don’t need to carry with us. Ask God to help you choose forgiveness when it is needed. He understands that it is hard to forgive when you are hurt but He will help you work through the pain.